心结网
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Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wake up today?
1) Pray-so that u may live...2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you.
At noon I do not eat because I think of you.
In the evening I do not eat because I think of you,
and at night I do not sleep because I'm hungry.
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."
Help! Doctor! Please come quickly!
"My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!"
"Ok , I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes."
"Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"
"Just use another pen!"
On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.
"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.
"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance,"
yells another person.
"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody,and do as the kind lady says!"
One morning, a boy named Tony was getting dressed in his bedroompreparing to go to school. His mother called out from the living room, "Remember to put on a pair of new socks!" Tony answered, "Yes, mom, I will put on a pair of new socks." His mother emphasized, "I mean that you should wear a new pair of socks every day!" Tony again answered,"Yes, mom, I will put on a new pair of socks every day."A week later, he came out of the bedroom and said to his mother, "Mom,I cannot get my feet into my shoes anymore."